John Dies at the End

First off, I am completely guilty of judging books and movies by their covers AND their titles.  When I first heard of the movie, There Will Be Blood, I was totally psyched to see the movie, because with a title like that, how could it not be excellent.  The movie was not at all what I expected, but I wasn’t disappointed.  I still think that it should be the title of a zombie flick, or a vampire movie.  So when this particular novel popped up on my Amazon.com suggestions, I was intrigued.  And just like There Will Be BloodJohn Dies at the End wasn’t what I expected, but I was not at all disappointed.

I finished this book about two weeks ago, but I couldn’t put into words what I felt about the story.  I knew I liked it, but I didn’t really know why. And the book is so involved, I think I needed time to digest everything that occurred.  I’m not entirely sure what to define this as, except as a comedy(?), it wasn’t always scary, but it was really funny. And eerie, then creepy, but always funny.   And I guess since it deals with alternate realities and demons it is part of the supernatural spectrum of the horror genre.  I mean, bad things happen in this book–like end of the world type shit.  But John and Dave are so funny; and nonchalant about the what they see and experience, you find yourself chuckling despite the horror going on around them (at least I did).

This book is jam-packed with comedy and action.  I know I couldn’t put it down because I wanted to find out the rest of the story.

Synopsis:  First, the book is told in the first person narrative by David Wong, the author and one of the main characters.  He’s telling the whole weird tale to an investigative reporter who has heard of Dave and John through weird web blogs that talk about the supernatural events Dave and John have “taken care of”.  Dave Wong (not his real name btw, he’s not even Asian)  then spins this unreal, tangled tale of demons and alternate universes that want to take over our own world.  And it all began for these two slackers (John and David) with a drug called soy sauce.  John and David, a pair of college dropouts that work at a video store, are what stand between our world and an invasion.

There is just so much going on in this book, I can’t really do this book justice with a small synopsis–so I’m not really going to try.  I advise you to pick this book up and read it.  I mean, it has strange beasts, hauntings,  a portal to hell in an unfinished mall, a drug that can possess you, shadow people,  a dog that won’t die–I really can’t list the entire tangled web of events that go down.

I like this book cover the best because it's just as busy as the story inside

Here’s a taste of why I really dug this book–The Set-Up: the gang, along with the main characters John and David are being held captive by Justin/monster and are prepared to fight when he opens the door.  They are telling each other things like, if I die, get rid my drugs and porno stash–stuff like that (you know the usual). And then we get to Fred and John:

(From the book) 

Fred whispered, “Okay. If I don’t come back, and say they don’t got my body,

like if Justin eats me or somethin’, tell everybody you don’t know what

happened.Make it mysterious. And then a year later spread rumors that

you’ve seen me wanderin’ around town. That way I’ll be like fuckin’ Bigfoot,

everybody claiming to have seen me here and there. Legend of Fred Chu.” John

nodded, as if he were committing this to memory. He lit his own firebombs,

glanced up at me and asked,“You got any final requests, in case this don’t

end well?” “Yeah. Avenge my death.”

On a personal note, this is exactly how I want my death to be–mysterious and righteous, and right when people are moving on with their lives after my loss–people will start seeing me around.  Am I dead, or did I fake my death?!

AND IT DOESN”T END THERE!

There is already a sequel in the works, entitled:  THIS BOOK IS FULL OF SPIDERS:  Seriously, Dude Don’t Touch It

PLUS:  John Dies At the End is now a movie soon to be released. Directed by Don Coscarelli, (Phantasm, Bubba Ho-Tep). Starring two dudes I’ve never heard of as John and Dave and Paul Giamatti.  Coming out in 2012.

Here’s the link, check it out:  http://www.johndiesattheend.com

5 thoughts on “John Dies at the End

  1. There will be Blood was a misleading title. But I loved the movie. It was a great character study. I haven’t heard of this book, but I love the first cover and its craziness.

  2. As soon as someone says a book is good I dont get to read it before it’s turned into a movie,but if it isnt turned into a movie I think it’s not good enough to read it.

    • Well, Lin, I think that you shouldn’t let the movie stop you from reading the book. People always say that the book is waaaay better than the movie. And most of the time, they are right. You have plenty of time to pick up this book and read it before the movie comes out. You should buy yourself a kindle. The great thing about a kindle is that since I have one, I can “lend” you a book I have purchased for 2 weeks. And vice-versa. Isn’t that great? Here is a book you need to read before the movie comes out in 2012—Wolrld War Z. You know that stupid question: if you could only have one book at a dessert island, what would it be? YEah…this is the book! IF i had to choose. Buy, borrorw, or steal the book…then read it. Then watch the movie with me. (I’ll buy the popcorn!)

  3. This book was originally online for free, perhaps in 2006 or so. I think the author writes or at least wrote for Cracked.com a few years back.

    I thoroughly enjoyed it, and have been planning to purchase a copy. I just want to buy it in such a way that the author gets most of the money.

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